The Head Ball Coach is keeping it real

Spurrier didn't have much to say about the win Saturday - except that we beat the fuck out of those crackers. They may have the better record on the field, but we own the battle to deep six coaches' careers. Ol' Fat Phil steps down today with tears in his eyes, I guess.

The HBC had these encouraging words to say:

"The Tennessee band was there last night, weren't they?" he said. "I'm used to hearing Rocky Top. I don't remember hearing it. ... Maybe one time. Maybe they only play that when they score."


Fucking A.

The most spec-fucking-tacular candidate for the office of the President EVER

Cracked.com ran an article on the 6 most insane people to ever run for president today. Their number one candidate was so compelling, I had to showcase him here on the blog. Go read his page for a laugh, but if you're short on time, here are some highlights:

From "About Lee L. Mercer Jr.":

"I am in a stalled police debriefing with the Houston Police Department waiting for me to sue to complete my debriefing for my background biography with them in the United States Army Military Intelligence Academy Camp Bullis San Antonio, Texas The University of Texas ROTC to West Point Military Academy U.S. Navy doctorate degree in Police Science.

As a part of my continuing eduaction, I am making my presidential campaign part of my ROTC Intelligence Academics to record the learnings, doings, and examples of the United States Government as a government consultant, community developer, and financial planner appointed by the United States Federal Congress to record my biography in the United States Government Presidential Election for 2008 from Electronic Surveillance to develop records on the United States Government Presidential Campaign because I am on an academic intelligence hotwire that can not be unhooked by anyone.

I have a doctor degree Phd. as a doctor of laws, medicine ( not practitioner of medicine, i.e. physicians, surgeons), theology, management, engineering and other subjects that are guaranteed by the United States Army in ROTC to be presented to me in a court of Law only.
I will receive my doctor degrees in a court of law only. My final graduation will be in a United States of America’s Court which was ordered by my second ROTC Board and Staff Janet Reno former U.S. Attorney General, former Chief of Staff of the U.S. Army and Secretary Of State of The United States General Colin Powell, Sr. and former Secretary of The United States Army Togo West. They will be joining me circumstantially later.

I won scholar of the world in World Management at Rice University from the President Of Rice University development in engineering with him and the German Government. I won road scholar from the United States Navy/United States Marine Corp. at West Point. All of my records of authencation will be brought forward into court by former board and staff that I have named above according to law for my day in court." (and yes, all that shit - spelling, syntax, etc.: [sic])

From "Reasons for Candidacy":

"1. The United States Federal Congress has encouraged me to want to become President of the United States so that I can do what the President of the United States of America is supposed to do and complete the federal and military government biography and autobiography in development in Eye Spy Community-Military Intelligence (All Three) Business and Commerce Intelligence Education across the board National and International."

Yes, that was indeed, his number one reason for candidacy.

"34. To Prove the government owes me Zillions of Dollars in money and is refraining to pay me and my business Eye Spy Community-Military Intelligence (All Three) Business and Commerce Intelligence National and International."

Yep, he said zillions

"45. To Prove the definition Kill in the Random House Dictionary of the English Language College Edition Larence Urdang Editor in Chief Stuart Berg Flexner Managing Editor in All Displines across the board through Military Intelligence."

"49. To Prove the United States Government killed my sex life, my wife sex life, my daughter-in –laws sex life both may sons and other of my family members sex life with Espionage Experimentation and Espionage Exploitation sex killing."

That one is my favorite.

"51. To Prove to you citizens you do not know what and how I am suppose to do for you and what and how I am suppose to do for the United States of America’s Government National and International."

"56. To Prove Jeb Bush is all in my house with disease."

Never mind - new favorite.

"63. To Prove It took millions of doctor’s degrees for me to be President of The United States in The United States Army Military Intelligence Academy Camp Bullis San Antonio, Texas to be certified with an all task completion. There is an auto-biography of my leanings, doings and examples of my governments task academics made hot-wire hookup recording Intelligence Electronic Satellite and a biography of every other person, place and or thing in the world all governments in the world and how I did this I became a teacher and invented computerized education and the applications to make computerized education learn, do and example. This is a GOVERNMENT DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM meaning a program that develops a government 100%. Therefore, I can prove there is no candidate and will be no candidate qualified to be elected president of the United States of America before Candidate Mercer For President, The United States of America’s Government, The United Nations and the American Public Citizenship that is on a communications hot-wire hookup can be Vindicated disclose as America is America through Eye Spy Community-Military Intelligence the new tool of America Electronic Surveillance Government."

That was awesome.

And here is possibly the best reason of all for why Lee L. Mercer Jr. should be the next president:

"66. To Prove America is America."

Wow. I think I hear angels singing the fucking Star Spangled Banner.