RiffTrax - Star Wars

via Bob Cesca's Awesome Blog! Go!

The day we have all been waiting for

Amer-cuh...Fuck Yeah!

Are you guys ready to here Tebow a whole lot?

Tim Tebow is so fast he can run around the world and hit himself in the back of the head.
If Tim Tebow has $5 and you have $5. Tim Tebow has more money than you do.
When the bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks the closet for Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow can get Chick-Fil-A on Sundays.
People with amnesia still remember Tim Tebow. (mostly thanks to ESPN)
Superman’s only weakness is kryptonite. Tim Tebow laughs at Superman for even HAVING a weakness.
Tim Tebow doesn’t do pushups. Instead, he pushes the earth down.
Tim Tebow counted to infinity. Twice.
When life gives Tim Tebow lemons, he uses them to kill terrorists. Tim Tebow hates lemonade.
When Google can’t find something, it asks Tim Tebow for help.
The average person gets 300 points for writing their name on the SAT, Tim Tebow gets 1000.
Tim Tebow can kick start a car.
Tim Tebow doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Tim Tebow ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Tim Tebow can touch MC Hammer.
At birth, Tim Tebow came out arms first so he could stiff arm the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Tim Tebow but Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow sleeps with a night light. Not because Tim Tebow is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow does not wear a condom; there is no such thing as protection from Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow CAN eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
If at first you don’t succeed, you aren’t Tim Tebow.
As President Roosevelt said: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Tim Tebow.”
Tim Tebow can slam a revolving door.

What Up Everyone

Hadn't posted in a long time and wanted to say hello. Hope everyone is doing well.
Talk to you fools soon.

Only one thing's for certain: Willie Nelson only smokes killer weed

I have a kick ass harpsichord

Good News! The rise of the machines shouldn't be too far away!

Click the title for a full article, but here's this:

Notice who that Ft. Hood shooter looks like.

Won

Cinematic synergy 

a whole lotta energy 

virtual reality 

doomsday scenery 

grab artillery 

burn the flag steadily 

depression 

driving a brand new chevy

Terminator Salvation: what could have been

I loved the Terminator franchise, then Nick and I went to see T4 and were both terribly disappointed. This is an article about what went wrong with Terminator Salvation - i.e. the re-writes resulting from casting Christian Bale as John Connor, re-writes due to the original ending being leaked online, etc.. It includes details about the original script and why the movie was called "Salvation."

Michael McDonald: Trickin' It to the Treats

Greatest Trick or Treater Ever -- powered by Cracked.com

20 Costumes That Will Earn You a Halloween Beating

From the Article:

#20. Spongebob Adult Man's Costume


"Aside from the "Would you like to buy some Bibles?" look on the model's face, it's the white leotards that seal the wearer's fate. Or possibly the little red dick-tie."

A Glorious Dawn

via Crooks and Liars.

Afghanistan

Gary Farber at Amygdala has an informative piece on the situation in Afghanistan, focusing on three crucial questions:

Can the government in Kabul become one that most Afghans regard as legitimate?

That is the antepenultimate question, rather than which military forces or strategy should be used.

The penultimate question is: if so, can we help the government in Kabul become that legitimate government?

The ultimate question for America and NATO is: if so, how high a price is too high a price for us to pay to help the government in Kabul become that legitimate government?

Get Pumped: god/the universe/whatever answers prayers

Radiohead to record NEW ALBUM this winter


There’s been a lot of speculation on Radiohead’s next album. Would it ever be recorded? Or would be just get digital tracks, EP’s or whatever made the press. Ed O’Brien confirmed that a new Radiohead album (yes, album) is in the making.

It was the interview in The Believer that kick-started a lot of rumours on Radiohead’s future. Thom Yorke told the magazine: “None of us want to go into that creative hoo-ha of a long-play record again.(…) But we’ve all said that we can’t possibly dive into that again. It’ll kill us.” The news hit the press worldwide.

Radiohead have spent this Summer in the studio, releasing tracks online like ‘Harry Patch (In Memory Of)’ and ‘These Are My Twisted Words’. This sort of seemed like they were serious about not releasing albums in the future. But guitarist Ed O’Brien has confirmed that the band is in fact interested in recording more albums and the follow-up to ‘In Rainbows’ is actually in the making.

Ed O’Brien told NME that with sessions planned this winter the band would “definitely” be releasing a full album physically next year.
“We were misquoted,” claimed O’Brien of Yorke’s comments, loudly adding, “WE WILL BE MAKING AN ALBUM!” Although he said the band hadn’t decided how it would be released, he said the album would come out on vinyl and CD whether it first arrived as a download or not.

“We love the artwork; that’s really important, the physicality,” he explanied. “And we all like vinyl. That’s not going to go away. I still like CDs as well. I got the Speech Debelle CD the other day – I nearly downloaded it from iTunes but I thought, ‘No. I want the physical thing.’”

O’Brien wouldn’t be drawn on specific tracks, but suggested that recent free download ‘There Are My Twisted Words’ was not a marker for the album.

On releasing ‘These Are My Twisted Words’ online he said: “It’s a kind of one-off. It could have been a darker side of ‘In Rainbows’ – it’s got that autumnal vibe, we’re leaving the summer and going into the darkness.”

He added that with Radiohead set to reconvene in their Oxfordshire studio this winter, the season might similarly affect the new songs. “Typical Radiohead,” he laughed. “We’re going into the studio in winter. It’s always miserable! Are we at the whim of the seasons? We are! When you’re in a studio in the countryside, the music you make is definitely affected by what season it is.”

What up party people

Hey guys - I have vacation the first week of November. Is anyone still interested in camping?

GO COCKS!!

From: "5 Reasons being a Joss Whedon fan sucks"

No Explanation Necessary

I'm not sure you guys are ready for how awesome this is...

New Carolina

Protect Insurance Companies

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

Show Me Your Genitals

Radio Friendly Song

Courtesy of Urban Dictionary

Broccoli slut

Broccoli bump

Cajun Pepper Stick

Robocop

"8 Insane Ways Parents Are Politically Brainwashing Children"

/

David sums up the drug experience

Twitter still sucks...

But this and this are fucking great.

Tonight I dine in Virginia

I have finally found some work in the District. It is full time, but temporary (just how temporary is unclear, even to the people I am working under). I have the suspicion, one that is shared by several others, that now that I am in the Georgetown University system, the odds are good that I will be able to find something permanent in the future. I hope that this is the case, in any event.

I have been essentially homeless since the end of June. I have crashed in extended-stay motels, with the junkies and prostitutes, and on the couches of various friends. This, to put it mildly, is not all it is cracked up to be. Having had enough of this, I have secured a basement apartment in Rosslyn, Virginia. It is, for the area, large and cheap, meaning 2/3 the size of my old apartment and 1/3 again as expensive. The landlady is a former aid worker specializing in HIV prevention in Africa, which is cool.

So, it looks like things are coming together. Fucking finally.

Forest Whitaker

Negotiations

Tit Slap

Horses Love Stegosaurus

The Boner Song

Han Solo, P.I.

Watch this one first:



Then watch this one - it'll blow you away:

Girls In Bikini Reading Star Wars

Enjoy these Oscar worthy performances...

Possibly the coolest dad ever

This Kid Actually Sleeps in a Y-Wing:



Click the link to see additional pics.

New Radiohead Song

It's free and here's the download:

These Are My Twisted Words

The GOP's Misplaced Rage

Bruce Bartlett, a former Republican official who served in the Reagan and George H.W. Bush administrations, reiterates the case against George Bush's stewardship of the economy.

Folsom Prison Blues

A report from NPR explains how the California Prison System has gone from being one of the best in the nation to one of the worst over the course of the last 40 years.

From the You've Got to be Shitting Me Department

From the Investor's Business Daily:

People such as scientist Stephen Hawking wouldn’t have a chance in the U.K., where the National Health Service would say the life of this brilliant man, because of his physical handicaps, is essentially worthless.

The editorial in question has since been corrected, removing all in-text references to Hawking, and with an Editor's Note explaining that the original article implied that Hawking didn't live in the UK.

That's some fine editorial work there, Lou.

Update: Hawking responds: "I wouldn't be here today if it were not for the NHS... I have received a large amount of high-quality treatment without which I would not have survived."

Thom Yorke: No more Radiohead albums

"None of us want to go into that creative hoo-ha of a long-play record again. Not straight off ... It worked with In Rainbows because we had a real fixed idea about where we were going. But we've all said that we can't possibly dive into that again. It'll kill us."

Living Root Bridges of Cherrapunji

Inhabitants of Cherrapunji have developed the innovative technique of using roots from Ficus Elastica trees to create living bridges over rivers and streams. As the bridges are alive and growing, the bridges become stronger over time, with some examples reportedly 500 years old.


via Metafilter.

See also Flickr and this site.

Old School

T-Bird, this one's for you. Reminds me of cruisin' the stip at Myrtle.

The final word in Black Dragon t-shirts

The following is an actual review of an actual item on Amazon.com:



If dragons could wear t-shirts, this is the one they would wear.,
May 20, 2009
36 of 37 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
By O. de Frias "realmadrid2727" - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
This is, without a doubt, the best black shirt with an angry monochrome dragon perched on two natural pillars on a cliff that I have ever seen. I know that when I get married, this is the undershirt I'll wear. The amount of awesome displayed on your chest canvas while wearing this shirt, obviously a shirt given to man by Zeus himself, is currently impossible to calculate using our current mathematical constructs. We actually need to devise a new form of mathematics which we should call Wurm Theory in order to parse the data.

I'm going to explain to you what it's like wearing this shirt. Each separate occasion merits a new stage of awesomeness being unlocked.

First wearing - You hear Sean Connery's voice command you to be the greatest. Whether you want to or not, while this shirt is on your back you will comply.

Second wearing - The best theme song of all time is instantly created for you and sung by the dragon on your shirt which, contrary to what you would assume, has an awe-inspiring singing voice.

Third wearing - You ascend to a higher level of consciousness.

Fourth wearing - The "what came first, the chicken or the egg" riddle is conclusively solved.

Fifth wearing - Zeus reveals his master plan and the meaning of life.

Sixth wearing - You get like, $0.20 off all your Starbucks purchases, and some places even let you take the cup you used the day before and knock an additional $0.05 if you use that.

PROS: Dragon on your shirt, Sean Connery finally gets some steady work again
CONS: Some of the independently-owned Starbucks don't let you do the used cup thing.

Auto Tune The News

Fucking Hilarious...There's 7 currently, these are a few of my favorites. Watch them.

Ps. you might want to click them and watch them on youtube, because the lyrics are provided with the songs.

Radiohead: Harry Patch (in memory of)

Radiohead has released a new song in honor of Harry Patch, a World War I veteran of the Duke of Cornwall's Light Infantry who died on July 25th.

8-Bit Lebowski

No king but the law

Instead of "the President shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed," we have: "Presidents should try to obey the law except when they decree there are good reasons to violate it." Instead of "in America the law is king," we have: "we can only apply the law when it won't undermine bipartisanship." Instead of "treaties shall be the supreme Law of the Land," we have: "we can't have torture prosecutions because they'll distract from health care." To "no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause" and "No person shall be . . . deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law," we have added: "unless there are Terrorists who want to harm us, in which case we spy without warrants and imprison people for life without charges."

Glenn takes on a pernicious and pervasive establishment mentality.

Say what

And also this...

It is about that time.

Should I make another countdown?

Alice in Wonderland

Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen:





The Trailer:



This one will also be shown in 3D.

Tron Legacy

First Called TR2N, and now Tron Legacy...

Here's a pic of the new Light Cycle:



Here's the official trailer:




Yep, it'll be in Imax 3D.

Craig Ferguson on Why Everything Sucks

Camping

So I know I drunk-texted some of you at an ungodly hour last weekend - that aside, we chould go camping in November. I gots vacation that first week and a buddy of mine down here wants to go. Nick, welcome back.

Jimmy Carter leaves the Southern Baptist Convention

So my decision to sever my ties with the Southern Baptist Convention, after six decades, was painful and difficult. It was, however, an unavoidable decision when the convention's leaders, quoting a few carefully selected Bible verses and claiming that Eve was created second to Adam and was responsible for original sin, ordained that women must be "subservient" to their husbands and prohibited from serving as deacons, pastors or chaplains in the military service. This was in conflict with my belief - confirmed in the holy scriptures - that we are all equal in the eyes of God.

via Metafilter.

MCA has cancer

Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys has cancer.

Maynard doesn't want to meet you....at all.

Just got my new password, good to be back

Man's sight is restored after 12 years...

... by implanting a camera and a bit of his tooth into his eyeball.


via Metafilter.

New Rules, Michael Jackson edition

Is Jon gonna have to choke a bitch?

This is, if true, fucking bullshit.

What up, Holmes?

Smokin' in the Military

Drinking out of Cups

Radiohead: Glastonbury 1997

It's the full Performance - do yourself a favor and let a good bit load before you press play - the video is audience, so it's Ok, but the audio is top notch:

Twin Sister Live

TWIN SISTER show & IT NEVER SNOWS from todd fadel on Vimeo.

Not the best quality, but I think it's the only one online. If you don't want to watch the whole thing, fast forward to 6 minutes in to see them do "Ben" followed by "Scoundrel."

Trent Reznor before Nine Inch Nails

Holy. Shit. Watch the whole thing to really get the effect.

Iron Sky (2010)

Nazi invaders from the dark side of the moon. Does it get more bad-ass? No sir, it does not.

COD MWF2

pretty fuckin funny

Need a lawyer?

Get on it, girls

I've posted nothing about the goings on in Iran, because I was too caught up in trying to figure out what was happening. But these kids in the street, especially the women, deserve all of our respect.

Baxetball News

For those who haven't heard, both Devan Downy and Dominique Archie are returning for next year's season. Go Cocks!!

Kiffin and Spurrier in store(NSFW)

9

Siege At Rainbow Farm

In 2001, Rainbow Farm, a pro-marijuana campground and festival site, was beseiged by Michigan State police and the FBI. By September 3rd, the two proprietors,  Tom Crosslin and Rollie Rohm, were dead. This 2003 article by Playboy's Dean Kuipers recounts the events leading up to the deaths of Crosslin and Rohm.

Lonesome Cowboy Burt

For some reason, this brings back memories of St. Matthews

Video from Japan's lunar orbiter Kaguya

Recently Released Gitmo Detainee Talks to ABC News

Lakhdar Boumediene, best known as the subject of the landmark case Boumediene v. Bush (which resulted in the ruling that detainees have the right - gasp! - to challenge their detention in court), gives an exclusive interview to ABC news in which he recounts his 7.5 years at Guantanimo.

Update: Glenn's take.

I seek to cure whats deep inside, frightened of this thing that I've become

No description - just watch.

via Metafilter.

God

Rancher wins the Powerball

Neal Wanless, a 23-year-old rancher from South Dakota, won the $232 million jackpot this week. This is pretty badass as small-time ranchers have a rough time of it. Also, the guy's neighbor is named Assman. For reals.

Good Luck

This is another one of those get yourself out of the freaky room puzzles. Have fun.

Dead Snow

Norway+Zombies+Nazis.=???

Remembering Tiananmen

Nicholas Kristof of The New York Times was in Beijing during the events of 1989 which culminated in the June 4th Tiananmen Square massacre. In a series of short audio recordings, he recounts the events as he remembers them.

Also from the Times, a discussion of the famous Tank Man photo (more accurately, photos), can be found here.

As the 20th anniversary of the massacre approaches, the Chinese Government has closed Tiananmen Square, and blocked such internet sites as YouTube, Twitter, Flickr, Hotmail, HuffPo, Blogspot, and others. 

Update: The Tank Man from a never-before-seen angle.

ZOMG! Obama's a socialist!

Proof yet again that the Right doesn't understand the meanings of words.

Some Good Questions...

Jack Balkin over at Balkinization raises some good questions about how we ought to respond to the domestic terrorism of Scott Roeder seen over the weekend:

(1) Should the United States be able to hold Roeder without trial in order to prevent him from returning to society to kill more abortion providers? If we believe that Roeder and other domestic terrorists will plan further attacks on abortion providers and abortion clinics if we let them free, can we subject them to indefinite detention?

(2) The Obama Administration is currently considering a national security court to make decisions about the detention of suspected terrorists, with the power to order continued preventive detention. Should this court be able to hear cases involving U.S. citizens, whether they are Muslim or Christian?

(3) The U.S. government has argued that at least some terrorists should not be tried through the criminal process with its various Bill of Rights protections but instead can and should be tried through military commissions, where the standards of proof and various procedural protections are lowered. If Roeder is a domestic terrorist, can the U.S. government subject him to trial by a military commission instead of a criminal prosecution? Although the current version of the 2006 Military Commission Act does not bestow jurisdiction to try citizens, could we or should we amend it to include citizens who we believe are likely to commit or have committed terrorist acts?

(4) One of the most important reasons for detaining terrorists (suspected or otherwise) is to obtain information about future terrorist attacks that may save lives and prevent future bombings. To procure this information, can the government dispense with the usual constitutional and legal safeguards against coercive interrogation? Should it be able to subject Roeder to enhanced interrogation techniques, including waterboarding and other methods, to determine whether Roeder knows of any other persons who are likely to commit violence against abortion clinics or against abortion providers in the future? Would your answer change if you believed that an attack on an abortion provider or a bombing of an abortion clinic was imminent?

(5) Terrorists and terrorist organizations need money and resources to operate effectively. Often the only way to stop them is to dry up their sources of financial and logistical support. Can the U.S. government freeze the assets of pro-life organizations and make it illegal to contribute money to a pro-life charity that it believes might funnel money or provide material support to persons like Roeder or to organizations that practice violence against abortion providers? Can the government arrest, detain, and seize the property of anti-abortion activists who helped Roeder in any way in the months leading up to his crime, for example by giving him rides or allowing him to stay in their homes?

Reno 911 Lotto Clip

This is an (NSFW) unaired clip from Reno 911.  I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did.

via.

A Decent Article on Sotomayor

There has been a lot of hand-wringing on the right about Sonia Sotomayor, claiming that she is a judicial activist and a racist. Daniel Larison from the American Conservative handily refutes these charges.

Glenn shares his experience.

Also, some of the quotes gettingthe right so flustered express sentiments voiced by two of their SCOTUS darlings, Alito and Scalia.

Update: Tom Goldstein over at SCOTUSblog examines Sotomayor's record on racial discrimination cases:

Of the 96 cases, Judge Sotomayor and the panel rejected the claim of discrimination roughly 78 times and agreed with the claim of discrimination 10 times; the remaining 8 involved other kinds of claims or dispositions. Of the 10 cases favoring claims of discrimination, 9 were unanimous. (Many, by the way, were procedural victories rather than judgments that discrimination had occurred.) Of those 9, in 7, the unanimous panel included at least one Republican-appointed judge. In the one divided panel opinion, the dissent’s point dealt only with the technical question of whether the criminal defendant in that case had forfeited his challenge to the jury selection in his case. So Judge Sotomayor rejected discrimination-related claims by a margin of roughly 8 to 1.

Spurrier, Tactful as always

I am sure most of you have heard about the moron that Tennessee hired as their head football coach. Well there were a few sparks at the SEC spring football coaches meeting in Florida this weekend. The OBC still has it. FUCK TENNESSEE!!

Prototype

Video Game - E3 2009 - Video Game Trailers

Un-Broke: The Seth Green Cribs Edition

Un-Broke: The Seth Green Cribs Edition - watch more funny videos

Post #900, ya'll.

BoozeTown

In the early 1950's, Mel Johnson embarked on a quest to create a city whose sole purpose was to cater to the needs of drunks. BoozeTown, as it was to be called, would have its own police, whose job was to assist drunks, its own currency, backed by whiskey reserves, and a network of fallout shelters connected to a distillery in order to keep the party going in the event of nuclear war. This man, clearly, is a genius on the order of Hawking and Einstein. 

The Problem With Young People Today Is...

Every word this man says is true.

Via Metafilter.

Gilmour with the Tap

Big Bottom

Jack Bauer and Ticking-Time Bombs

Mortimer Hayden Smyth of the Center for American Free Thought (click title for more videos).

Spinal Tap meets Lego

Jesse Ventura on that Hannity show

I am sad that Ventura seems to have washed his hands of politics. 

From the same link:

Yeah, it's from The View. Don't worry, you won't get cooties.